This is a blog for small BUsiness muMS who, like me, are juggling life & work.
But why buMS?
I’m a fairly well-educated person but it is my bum that has taught me the most.
Literally, my bum.
Ash’s birth was fairly traumatic….I’ll leave that for another day…but the long and short of it is I ended up with a crippling illness from her delivery.
In the first 5 & a half years of her life I was in pain & suffering from fatigue on a daily basis. (In fact, the only days I remember without pain were those I spent in hospital under anaesthesia and fairly heavy pain killers).
An episiotomy that didn’t heal correctly left me with a fistula.
A fistula by definition is an abnormal connection between organs.
In society, a fistula is something we hear about in poverty stricken African countries.
In reality, a fistula is a horrible condition that many people are suffering from in the western world.
I had an obstetric fistula which is an “abnormal connection between the rectum and the vagina caused by prolonged, obstructed labour”.
“Let’s talk about the hole between my bum and my vagina” said no one ever!
So I suffered in silence for many years. Part of me thought maybe this was normal. Part of me was embarrassed to talk to even my GP about it. And part of me was just too damn busy being a working mum to do anything for me!
Nearly three years after her birth I sought help.
But the problems didn’t end there because I was misdiagnosed then referred to a robot to operate on my most intimate areas. A robot that wouldn’t discuss options just dogmatically told me this was that.
He put in a seton (which is essentially a drain) and said tada! That’s it. Go on with life.
I was functioning (or not functioning) every day with a low-grade fever, a permanent drain, a compromised immune system and, frankly, feeling disgusting & unfeminine.
I remember being in his office, telling him how awful I felt. How gross I felt. And saying “I don’t even want my husband anywhere near me”….and you know what his response was…”don’t worry, it doesn’t bother the man”.
Excuse my language but f*&% off!
Anyway, I then found the most wonderful quirky surgeon who operated 3 times, had an incredible bedside manner and, more importantly, gave me information to make informed choices about my body.
But having 5 operations on my bum in 13 months, feeling fatigued and gross in between taught me:
to systemise my business
that even if you can’t be there to do it, it will get done
to not take health for granted
that being fatigued & ill really messes with your head
to talk about secret women’s business, it makes you feel good and it empowers other women to seek help
that balance is important
that quality time with my family should (and can) be a priority
to be a good mum and leader I must first look after myself…I guess that’s why they say to do your own oxygen masks on planes!
I also giggle when I hear the word bum out of context…and a little giggle is always a good thing.
So let’s go buMS!